Updated: Jan 30, 2019
We all have our demons within us, but we have the choice.
There are two options: Are we going to ignore it and let it control us? Or are we going to face it and make peace with it?
Now, first of all, just to be clear here, I'm not referring to the demons that we see in those horror movies. I'm talking about the demons that are so loud in our minds from time to time, creating a struggle for us, stopping us to become our fullest and best potential. Our demons can ruin our relationships and make us give up on our goals/dreams. They often appear out of the feelings of anxiety, fear, and insecurity. Any strong negative emotions that you feel are your inner demons.
So where do they come from? Though there are many different situations of how our inner demons are created, the most common ones are:
When an emotion/feeling is suppressed
Circumstances that go against our beliefs and/or values
Lack of love and attention
Exist since the moment we were born; our karmic imprint
Our inner demons evolve depending on how we were raised and the experiences we go through in life.
Think of babies when they are hungry, not getting what they want, uncomfortable, or not being heard and paid attention to. What do they do? They cry and perhaps scream. That is exactly what is happening to our inner demons. If we don't pay attention to them and don't give them any love, they will scream and cry until they take over us and shake our insides. All of which will lead us to throw tantrums, develop a bad habit/behavior, and have a negative thought pattern.
Let me remind you, don't be afraid of our demons. Despite the terminology, they are a part of us and it's not about eliminating them, but rather making peace with them.
So here are some tips to face your inner demons that I've found very helpful:
Give it a name This suggestion may sound strange to you, but it really works. The moment we acknowledge their existence is the moment we take the first step into healing and making peace with ourselves. You don't have to give your inner demon a proper name; you can just make up a random name. I recommend giving the name that will make you smile a little or even laugh. Like this, every time you realize that your inner demon appears, you say its name and you will feel lighter. Through this method, you will realize that though it is a part of you, it is separate from who you truly are.
Notice its attributes Is it weak? Is it strong? Is it jealous? Aggressive? Bossy? Selfish? Careless? Timid? Stubborn? Self-centered? Overcritical? Obsessive? Manipulative? Devious?
Take notes of its triggers When does it start to arise? When you're alone or with people? Is it with anyone in particular? What are you doing at that time? Where are you?
Listen to it. Listen to what it wants and needs. Sometimes our demons say things that don't make sense and so, we need to listen deeper. Listen to the why. Why does it want that or need that?
To understand all of this, let's take a hypothetical example of a 30-year-old girl, named Cecilia, who has been a model since she was 10 years old, and often gets jealous. She also spends a lot of her time on social media and finds that she compares herself with other girls. The jealousy is her inner demon. It comes from her insecurity and lack of self-esteem. Her inner demon comes up in many different situations, one of which when her boyfriend talks to another female. Her inner demon tells her that her boyfriend will cheat on her and that nobody loves her. Her inner demon is loud and overpowering in her mind until she immediately starts to feel anxious and cause a scene, ruining her relationship with her boyfriend. The attributes of her inner demons are jealous, distrustful, insecure, overpowering, and anxious. But why does it do that? Cecilia has been cheated on in her past relationship, and on top of that by working as a model in the competitive industry, she has been rejected a few times and was told some negative comments about the way she looks. All of those are embedded at the back of her mind, or also called the subconscious mind. Cecilia needs to overcome her insecurities by appreciating herself more. Focusing on what she has and not what she is lacking. She may also need to forgive for what has happened to her in the past and let go of those emotional wounds.
Now there are many different ways of how our inner demons can take over us. The example I gave was just one of the many common situations. You might experience a similar one like Cecilia or you might have a different one.
Activities you can do to feed your soul and connect with your true selves:
Meditate Go to a meditation class, use the meditation app like Headspace, use a guided meditation that's available online or through a recording, or ask someone you know that meditates to teach you. Meditation is such a powerful tool that helps us to take a journey into our inner selves and to listen more to what our soul needs and who we really are.
Journaling Get a journal/diary and write down your emotions/feelings. You can go back to what you wrote yesterday or last week, to really understand how your emotions change and the possible triggers of your inner demons.
Slowing down; Do nothing Sometimes not doing anything is what we really need. To just take a pause in our lives, so we can better understand our thoughts.
Channel your emotions through art. Express your emotions through creativity. May it be in a form of music, dance, painting or drawing. We are all creative human beings. Creativity helps us to explore our emotions and releasing them.
Spend quality time with your loved ones, the people who appreciate you. Spending quality time with the people who appreciate you and who you appreciate is very grounding. It reminds you to be grateful and to focus on the positive side.
Go in nature Nature helps us to be more connected with ourselves. If you live in a city, you can take a walk in the park. Take a weekend in nature or go on a holiday where you are able to enjoy the nature and appreciate its beauty. Our problems are so small in comparison to how big our world is.
Our inner demons come to the surface when we haven't taken the time to ourselves. And especially now, we are living a fast-paced life that makes us forget to take time for ourselves and listen more to what we truly need. The journey in facing our inner demons is not something that we can do in less than a day. It is an on-going journey that can be challenging, but it is possible for all of us to take. There will be good days and there will be bad days, but just remember you now have the tool to recognize and make peace with your demons.
I hope this post has been informative and helpful to you. I wish you a great journey!
I know sometimes it can be difficult to face our inner demons by ourselves, I am here for you to guide you through this or if you want to share your story. You can sign up for a free consultation with me by sending me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Many blessings and love,
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